YUSU

For gay or questioning students coming to York...

The term “gay” is thrown around fairly loosely, and, to some people, it carries automatic connotations of being effeminate and dancing around to Kylie Minogue, despite the fact that you can use the word to describe women as much as men. As well as the use of “gay” as a synonym for ‘bad’, “gay” has almost always seemed to have a negative meaning attached to it. For a lot of other people, “gay” appears to absorb the other demographics in the LGBTQ umbrella.

Either way, I consider myself a gay man. I identify as being a man who is attracted to men. I’ve been comfortable with my sexuality for years now, but it was only at university that I was properly ‘out’. College for me was great, but looking back, I was only out to a handful of people. As much as I would have liked to have been completely open about myself, I felt a bit stifled by the situation and lied a couple of times to cover it up. Coming to university, however, was incredibly free in terms of coming out. My research online before I came told me that there was an LGBT society, and, as cheesy as it might sound, I automatically knew that I’d find some acceptance as a result.

But what has surprised me is the amount of acceptance from so many people at York. Unfortunately, there will always be some people who won’t be accepting of LGBT people or issues, but thankfully they are in the minority at university. My housemates were brilliant about it all, and didn’t bat an eyelid about it. Course mates and various other people I’ve met at uni have been fantastic in that it’s a complete non-issue to them, and I’m just a friend of theirs, who happens to like men. And the university would likely come down quite harshly on anyone who discriminated against me on the sole basis of my sexuality.

That said, once, whilst in a pub in York with my boyfriend, some drunk men made a couple of comments, but the pub owner was brilliant and made sure that we were safe. Beyond its campus, York is a tolerant city, and has a regular gay club night, along with a gay pub. Whilst this doesn’t exactly set the world on fire, and is no real comparison to the likes of London, Manchester and Leeds, it can be quite a lot of fun, (and Leeds and Manchester are fairly cheap and easy to get to if you fancy seeing what their scene is like). LGBT Social, the society at York, meets twice a week and is always open to anyone, with a couple of trips per term to places like Leeds and Manchester.

But being gay at university isn’t always the easiest thing, especially if you’re not out and if you’re not comfortable with it yourself or fear the reactions of other people. York’s LGBT welfare structure is very strong and has many people you can talk to if you feel alone, confused or just need more information and someone to talk to.

If you have any questions or concerns, or just want to chat about being gay, you can email our lovely LGBT officers, Nell and Tom, at lgbt@yusu.org if you’d prefer, and they’d be more than happy to help.

One link to consider - Stonewall are a gay, lesbian and bisexual charity, and their website has a lot of information for LGB people, including a very detailed university guide, called ‘Gay By Degree’, which also includes and rates The University of York on how gay-friendly it is: http://www.stonewall.org.uk/

I hope you have a great time at university!

Robert Hughes, current YUSU Gay Man Rep